The majority of the couples face problems in their relationship and most of them try their best to fix the issues. But the bad thing is that often the things they try to fix, get worse with their efforts. It does not mean that the conflicts can not be fixed and changed to what both the partners want; instead, it depicts that they need to be dealt with in a different way.
Usually, both the partners try to fix the issues by relating them to their own needs, patterns, expectations, fear, wants and more. And this fuels up the conflict further. As a result, the situation gets worse and both the partners find it hard to deal with.
Furthermore, there are also the cases when one partner feels distressed in his/her relationship and the other is just clueless about the problem. In such a case, the partner that is not happy may feel the need of attending a couples therapy workshop but the other partner who is happy will not be willing for that. And the common answer from the latter one will be- “You can go for the counseling if you think you need it; why should I go?”.
However, the point to notice here is no doubt that a single partner is facing the issues but the another partner has his/her contribution to that. Knowingly or unknowingly, he triggers the conflicts with his behavior. So, it does not matter that if one or both of the partners are facing issues, both need to go for the relationship therapy. They need to understand that how their patterns can lead to distress or satisfaction in their relationship and having this understanding is possible only through the therapy.
When you should think about seeking the therapy?
There are a number of signs that will let you know that it’s the time to seek therapy and we are mentioning those signs.
Emotional disconnection is the biggest sign that you need couples therapy. In such a case, you may try to keep yourself busy with other tasks to avoid this feeling.
You are trying to fix the issues but feel stuck because what you try does not work or it works opposite to the desired way.
Either you argue much on the topic and get diverted from the main issues you were started at or you withdraw from the conversation when your partner yell at you and the vice-versa.
The thoughts of separation come to your mind and you think you could live happier with someone else.
You fear, hesitate or due to any other reason, resist from expressing your true feelings. And this results in having untold feelings that lead you to depression.
Moreover, even the couples who have great communication fail to fix the conflicts. They try to resolve them, but in anger say something that hurts their partner and this, fuels up the conflict.
But the good thing is that you can get your relationship back on the track and to the stage where both of you would feel deeply connected to each other. And, this would be possible by attending a couples therapy workshop or by seeking relationship therapy from an experienced therapist.